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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

Trying to be the Daddy ™

-realizing I haven’t eaten, like at all, at 8:31 p.m.

-realizing my head hurts like hell… because all I drank was 3 different coffee drinks

-wondering when my hands started shaking

-when did I last sleep longer than 6 hours?

-fuck the dishes… this week

-excuse me miss, Did yOU jUsT TAlk BACk TO ME?

-fuck you I’ll make brownies at 11:30 I don’t care talk to me in an hour

-..I can’t sleep :(

sciencescribbler

Caregiver “Warning” Statements and Gestures

sciencescribbler

And yes, these are ALSO sometimes kind of exciting but maybe kinda scary too…

  • “Excuse me?”

  • “Listen up, little one…”

  • *Sticks paci into mouth*

  • “I must have heard that incorrectly.”

  • “I am not done yet.”

  • *Raises an eyebrow warningly*

  • “Do I look like I’m joking?”

  • “Oh, you think so?”

  • *Clear throat loudly*

  • “Are you being naughty, baby?”

  • “Do you think I missed that?”

  • “Get in/over my lap, please.”

  • “Come sit next to me, sweetheart.”

  • *Taps the couch next to them*

  • “I think someone sounds fussy.”

  • “Can you tell what I might be thinking?”

  • “I’m sorry, are you claiming you’re in charge here?”

  • *Crosses arms and purses lips*

  • “Little one, we need to get something clear.”

  • “I’m counting to five…”

  • *Smacks the booty warningly*

AND THERE ARE STILL SO MANY MORE